09/11 and How It Changed My Life

09/11/2001 was one of those days that you'll never forget where you were or what you where doing when you found out. As most, I was glued to the TV trying to comprehend what had happened. For the first time in my life, I didn't feel safe in my own country. I didn't know anyone who lost their lives or really even anyone that lived in NYC, but still the grief and sense of loss was overwhelming. I was as mad as any American and I felt violated to the very core. I don't think I will ever feel the sense of security I felt before 09/11/01. I don't think I had ever considered before that such a thing could really happen in America. But in the same minute, I had never been so proud to be an American and so proud of my fellow country men. The way we pulled together is still astonishing in it's enormity. But sadly, for me Sept. 11, will always be remembered as an Anniversary with double meaning. See the following year on 09/11/02 I found out my Husband had been having an affair and there was an OC who was at the time 5 months old. For the second time in a year, I stood stunned and disbelieving, trying desperately to comprehend what had happened. Again, I didn't feel safe in my own home, in my own life and I mourned the loss just as I had just one year ago. I know that my loss in no way compares to those that lost their lives on 09/11/01, but in many ways to me personally, it mirrors the effects just the same. The OW flew her plane on a suicide mission right through my life, and just like the twin towers, my soul couldn't take the initial hit and eventually crumbled from the pain. So just like I prayed on 09/11/01, I pray today for strength to see the best when only the worst is obvious, and for courage to keep living in spite of such devastation. If you pray, please keep me in your prayers today along with all the Victims of this day.