Tell me again...

Why do I have any contact with the XH? Today, he called to say he wanted to come over to watch the game with son, OK-no problem. Well, he brings OC(child from affair-age 3) I remember now why I only have one child! I am 40 years old and I just don't have the patience or the where abouts to deal with a 3 year old anymore. She's gotta have ADD, she can't sit still or be quiet for 1 minute. She's not that bad, but he is ruining her. He thinks everything she does is "cute". I don't.

I didn't think it about my child, I certainly don't think it about his. I guess I'm old school, I believe a child should be a child, treated like a child, talked to like a child and disciplined like a child. And I don't bend on this, it's my way or no way at my house. She does not run me or my house, it's not cute. Me and X butt heads some over this. I am not manipulated by a 3 year old, never will be. That "I love you, Daddy" doesn't work with me.

I don't know how I'm suppose to deal with this, this is a child that my H had from a 2 year affair while we where married. But he thinks since we are divorced, I should be okay with it now. WTF??? I know he sees his future when he looks at her, I see my past. I don't hate the child, I at one point loved her very much. But because of X and his family, I had to close that door. It's a hard door to open again. I feel like I have to protect myself and my heart again, he's not gonna do it.

I know that he will look me in the eye and straight lie, he will chose that ass faced monkey whore to lie about when it comes to the OC and I am once again reminded that I am not and have never been on the top of his priority list.

So again, tell me, why do I continue to have him in my life? Well at least I have my dog!