"Get Over It..."

I thought at one time that if I heard "what don't kill you makes you stronger" one more time, my head would literally shoot straight off my shoulders. When someone dies, people expect grief and grieving, but when you experience a significant loss other than death, people think that grief is inappropriate. But grief is a normal part of mourning when we lose something or someone of great personal value. It's the beginning of healing. Almost everyone has experienced death in some form and can relate, but not everyone has experienced infidelity.

Sometimes our closet friends think there will be some kind of fall out that will affect their own marriages. Some people in unhappy marriages, only see that you have a way out and are envious of your opportunity for freedom. A lot of friends and family just adopt that don't see, don't tell attitude. Some just don't want to know, and some just shouldn't. When we tell others about our spouse's affair, it's like sharing the most intimate details of a marriage gone wrong. and once those details are shared, they can never be erased from memory, creating negative feelings from friends and family, even if you reconcile.

Listening to someone else's anger, fear, or grief often makes us afraid that their emotions will overtake us. This is why seemingly loving, caring people often try to "fix" us when we share our painful feelings, they just want you to be "normal" again. When some tells you "to get over it," they may have only been wanting the old you back. She/He probably has no idea, how deep this pain is and to what extent you have already been changed. They love you, maybe in the best way they know how, so don't throw the baby out with the bath water, dysfunctional or not, our familys are our familys, our friends only human.

We only hope people who say these type of things to us, never have to know how it feels to go through it themselves.

Take Care of Yourself Everyone.